2 years ago
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Dear Amy: Over a twelvemonth ago, I was large with my archetypal kid and a person of excavation offered (she offered, I did not ask) to springiness maine immoderate of her maternity apparel that she was finished with.
I gladly accepted and was grateful for her generosity!
My hubby and I ended up losing the baby, close astatine the opening of the 3rd trimester.
As you tin imagine, we were perfectly devastated.
After our loss, this person called incessantly, and it was excessively overmuch for maine astatine the time, and I didn’t ever reply her calls.
She besides said a fig of insensitive things, of 1 which was: “I’m really benignant of jealous of you.”
She has 2 beauteous children with her husband, I judge she meant that determination are inactive things to bask with my hubby portion we are childless — and that immoderate of that state is mislaid erstwhile you person children.
I fto that go.
However, a fewer months ago, she texted maine and asked if I would message her maternity apparel backmost truthful that her sister-in-law could usage them.
When she gave maine the clothes, she said that they were excavation to keep, and that I should wage them guardant erstwhile I was finished with them.
Amy, I americium not finished with them! In fact, I was astir six-weeks large erstwhile she asked for her apparel back.
I wasn’t acceptable to archer her I was large again.
This petition was the past straw. I told her however overmuch her petition upset me, and I returned the apparel to her.
I haven’t been capable to speech to her since, contempt her calls.
Am I being overly delicate astir this? I consciousness similar this has permanently affected our relationship.
Should I person an unfastened and honorable speech with her astir this, and fto her cognize that I’m not definite this is thing that I tin determination past?
I would greatly admit an outsider’s perspective.
— B
Dear B: So far, this person of yours has done each of the talking and you person been forced to respond and respond, repeatedly, to her obnoxious and insensitive behavior.
I anticipation this highly achy nonaccomplishment successful your beingness has helped to amusement you who your existent friends are. She is not 1 of them.
I deliberation you should fto her go, without further conversation. At immoderate constituent she volition unit herself upon you, and you tin archer her that your relationship has simply tally its course. If it would springiness you immoderate restitution to explicate why, past you should bash truthful — but recognize that she could grow immoderate mentation into a protracted conversation.
I deliberation she’s already talked enough.
Dear Amy: I person a beauteous girl and fantastic son-in-law. I adore them both.
Recently they got a puppy. Unfortunately, “Spot” has turned into a huge, retired of power big dog.
We unrecorded successful the aforesaid city.
Whenever they travel to visit, they bring Spot with them.
He is huge, unruly, untrained (has accidents successful our house), chews furniture, etc.
I effort to measurement successful with “No!” and “Down boy!” and occasionally my girl and her hubby chime successful arsenic well, but the canine is intelligibly the 1 successful charge.
I emotion to spot them, but I consciousness trapped successful this regular where, if I privation to spot my daughter, I person to enactment up with Spot.
I don’t cognize wherefore they deliberation we don’t caput astir the dog. I’ve told them that we do.
I’ve told her that we don’t let pets connected the furnishings (we person had pets before).
How bash I get to spot my darling girl without Spot?
— Spot’s Granny
Dear Granny: It doesn’t dependable arsenic if you person emphasized the information that you cannot person this canine successful your home.
It sounds arsenic if you are going to person to bid your girl and her lad the mode they should beryllium grooming their dog. Keep it simple. Repeat arsenic often arsenic necessary.
Say, “I cognize you emotion “Spot,” but until helium is much manageable, I simply can’t grip having him successful the house. I’d beryllium blessed to revisit this erstwhile helium is much mature and amended trained.”
Dear Amy: When I spell retired successful public, I sometimes deterioration a chapeau that says “U.S. Navy Veteran Proudly Served.”
Frequently, idiosyncratic volition say, “Thank you for your service.”
What is an appropriate, gracious response?
— WW II Vet
Dear Veteran: You could respond: “Thank you for saying that. It was my grant to service our country.”
(You tin email Amy Dickinson astatine askamy@amydickinson.com oregon nonstop a missive to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You tin besides travel her connected Twitter @askingamy oregon Facebook.)
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