Ask Amy: This relationship really needs a payday

2 years ago 175

Dear Amy: I americium progressive with a precocious divorced man.

“Steve” has 2 children (both adults).

I person 4 children — besides grown and retired of the home.

Steve’s matrimony was implicit earlier I met him.

Steve and I run a tiny but precise palmy concern together.

Here’s the problem: Steve’s 19-year-old girl works for us.

She gets paid for 40 hours a week, adjacent though she lone works astir 25 hours, astatine most.

Steve makes definite her telephone is paid for, has bought her a precise costly laptop, and has bought her a brand-new luxury exemplary car. (She present expects a caller one.)

We wage her wellness insurance.

She lives successful her boyfriend’s house. Her boyfriend’s parents ain the house, and her rent is mode beneath marketplace price.

If I bring up to Steve that I deliberation we assistance her mode excessively much, I’m the atrocious guy.

Am I incorrect successful not wanting to assistance her truthful much?

I besides request to adhd that I bash not get a paycheck, nor bash I person immoderate wealth unless I inquire Steve for it.

All portion his girl perpetually tells her begetter that she won’t bash thing for him.

I americium conscionable present putting my ft down astir being brought into each decisions being made.

I emotion him and privation to stay, but americium I conscionable wasting my remaining blessed years connected nothing?

— Marred successful Maine

Dear Marred: You knock “Steve’s” girl for being wholly babelike connected her father, and yet you are, too.

The quality betwixt you and this young pistillate is she is not moving hard but is inactive receiving compensation; you are moving hard — but are not getting paid.

You mightiness inquire her for tips connected however to pry a paycheck retired of her father.

Steve’s girl comes first. If she is entitled and spoiled, past helium helped to make this monster, and a monster she volition stay – astatine slightest for the adjacent fewer years.

Many tiny businesses trust connected household members to supply hours of escaped labor, but according to you, the concern you and Steve run is successful. Your prime to enactment for escaped is simply a existent head-scratcher.

If 1 of your big children described a concern wherever they were profoundly ensconced successful a idiosyncratic and concern narration identical to yours, what proposal would you give?

My constituent is that you should instrumentality a agelong and cautious look astatine your ain concern and inquire yourself if you are with idiosyncratic who is controlling the women successful his beingness done money.

Dear Amy: Recently, my household and I attended a religion that was not our location parish, and we did not cognize the members.

The household successful beforehand of maine was sitting connected their pew arsenic I knelt from behind.

The presumption I was successful gave maine a close-up presumption of the blond long-haired teenage miss sitting straight beneath my gaze.

She intelligibly had 2 lice nits affixed to her hairsbreadth (shining from the agleam overhead lights).

In my acquisition arsenic a teacher for 37 years, I person encountered this concern galore times, but connected those occasions, I had sent the kid to the caregiver without having to sermon the crushed (a telephone telephone was made to the caregiver anterior to child’s arrival).

I would ne'er intentionally embarrass idiosyncratic oregon bring thing unpleasantly idiosyncratic to their attention.

Yes, lice thin to sojourn “clean hair,” but that doesn’t assistance to alleviate the discomfort of it.

I chose to accidental thing and present I wonderment if I should person vocalized the information.

There were 5 different long-haired girls successful the household and my interest present is that they mightiness go infected, also.

What would you person done?

— Second Guessing My Silence

Dear Second Guessing: I wouldn’t person done anything.

If you were a dermatologist and noticed a perchance superior maturation connected the backmost of a caput successful the pew successful beforehand of you (located successful a spot wherever a idiosyncratic couldn’t spot it), past you should talk up.

But nits don’t needfully go lice. And lice aren’t a superior menace to beingness and limb (as you know).

Dear Amy: Thank you for sticking up for the teen who brought his “lovey” to his grandmother’s location [“Embarrassed Gran”].

I americium a joined dada and I’ve had my stuffed panda successful my country since, well, since forever.

I conjecture this goes against the grain, gender-wise, but I’m chill with it, and my kids look to consciousness the aforesaid way.

— Secure

Dear Secure: It seems that your panda has done a precise bully job.

(You tin email Amy Dickinson astatine askamy@amydickinson.com oregon nonstop a missive to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You tin besides travel her connected Twitter @askingamy oregon Facebook.)

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